Shows variety from the face-plants of ‘Wipeout’ to imagine footwork of ‘Dance'
The perfect summer television needs to be light and refreshing, something that leaves you satisfied but that you can return to without feeling overwhelmed.
Four single couples (who couldn't have been that into each other if they agreed to do this) visit a Caribbean island to have their loyalty tested by ''The Singles,'' a.k.a. hot bodies of the opposite sex. Mark L. Walberg, clearly the poster boy for Great Moments in New Lows, hosted the series with a straight face. 
People on TV are typically attractive, endowed, or have lots of money. MTV's sickening 15-year-old brats who care for their parents, friends, and the rare hired troupe of little people like garbage while planning the party of their dreams? They're the ones with lots of money — and the most raucous part of the show is that they've deluded themselves into thinking their parents' prosperity means that they're sexy.
The Littlest Groom (Fox miniseries, 2004) / Age of Love (ABC, 2007)
The Littlest Groom go after small person Glen Foster on a quest for true love, first with 12 little women and then — inundation alert! — With a few average-size women terrified into the mix to help Foster choose whether height should resolve whether or not you find someone attractive.'' Switch out ''age'' with ''height'' in that last sentence, and you have the basic premise of Age of Love. Would anyone care to cringe?
Exclusive of the trash-tastes, frequently topless brawls that Jerry positive on his set, would TV have been motivated to realize Great Moments in New Lows in the first place? Let me take a spin on Maury Povich's fail-proof Wheel of Paternity to seek out the answer. In the meantime, take another tequila shot from the mansion's bathtub, and go on a date with this 3-foot-tall plastic surgeon I found on a remote island hanging out with Mark L. Walberg. He could be a millionaire!
on Fox's 2000 one-night special Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? (Right), Darla Conger strike out of 49 pageant contestants to wed Rick Rockwell — whom she'd never met — on the spot. Contestants on Joe Millionaire (2003, also on Fox, of course) thought they were pretending to fall in love with a millionaire dullard, but it turned out he was just a dullard...with a construction gig and a short-lived underwear-modeling career. Score? $1 million to the first person who cleans up my vomit
Kid Nation (CBS, 2007)
There, let's exploit children! Forty kids, aged 8-15, challenge to form a performance society on a glorified movie set in Bonanza City, New Mexico. At least the casting was apt: Nearly all of the kids — excuse me, ''pioneers'' — had very early in life developed the classic reality-TV-star quality of being really annoying. I'd honestly rather watch a live-action version of the hit 1985 floppy-disk game The Oregon Trail.
I Love Money (VH1, 2008)
We have to respect VH1's sparkling move of acknowledging their nosedive into the hair gel- and breast implant-lined abyss by naming the show exactly what; perhaps, all competitive reality TV shows could be called. (The Biggest Loser could also apply.) In this shameless knockoff of MTV's The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, loser contestants from past VH1 actuality shows like Flavor of Love and I Love New York compete in sexy 'n' embarrassing challenges to win $250,000. Playboy model Megan (pictured) has a fake-tanned leg up, seeing as she starred in VH1's Rock of Love 2 AND the CW's Beauty and the Geek (season 3).
Hurl! (G4, 2008)
The once videogame-centric cable network gave us Hurl!, where contestants would gorge on potpies and clam chowder (and, we assume, some non-delicious items), It also marked a new low in EW.com's ever-competitive collection of the most appalling TV shows ever. If you can make it to the bottom rung of the following shame spiral, you win, too!
